The first Saturday after Bri came home from the hospital her and I had our first chance to go out to dinner together while Brendan stayed home with Nana Pam. During this dinner we found ourselves reflecting on the experience we had just gone through. While yesterday (Valentines' Day) marked the one year anniversary of the day we received official confirmation that Bren was on the way. I thought now would be a great time to share the reflections Bri and I had.The Friday before Valentines Day last year I arrived home to Bri handing me a Purdys box. Which struck me as odd because I could not for the life of me figure out why she was trying to give me a box of chocolates that were nearly already eaten. As it turns out the box was just a box, but what was actually inside wasn't chocolate but something that would theoretically change our lives.
A positive home pregnancy test. I believe the first of I don't know how many Bri went through that day either from trying to be sure, or just the pure joy of seeing something other than a negative test.
That following Thursday we made our way to the doctor's office to get the official word, and possibly see Brendan for the first time. On the way there Fergie's song "Clumsy" came on the radio. I don't know if it's the fact that song has a catch beat, and hook, but I will always think of that day when I here it.
So my expectations going in was that Bri would take another pregnancy test, then we would sit in Dr. Diggs' office and he would give us the results, and set the plan for the next eight to nine months. You know like you see in the movies, or on a TV show. Not the case, our confirmation actually came from one of the nurses, and it was delivered nonchalantly.
Through the next several months there was the clothes buying. Getting his room ready, prenatal class, and many nights toward the end where I slept on one third of the bed, while Bri, and about ten pillows got the other two thirds.
Of course who can forget the baby shower at our house with the remains of Hurricane Ike skimming past us.
I will admit the entire process reminded me of Christmas growing up, and now. I'm sure everyone remembers when they were kids how the days before Christmas dragged, and it seemed like that day would never come. But now, one day it's Thanksgiving, and the next day you're cleaning up after Christmas.
I remember looking at the calender and thinking nine months will take forever. Eight of those months did for the most part. But then before I knew it, we were coming home from the hospital.
I knew the summer would drag, because of the heat. Though when football season rolled around it would start to roll, because that's just how time is during the football season. (If you are a football fan you understand this premise.)
As the days drew closer Bri kind of knew that she was probably going to be induced. Selfishly I was hoping we could do it on a Friday so I could get another day off on top of the two weeks I was taking to begin with. But Bri being a nursery nurse, and understanding the scheduling doctors have, and when it was better to schedule said early in the week was better. So Monday, exactly one week before the actual due date would be the day. This would allow her mom to get here and be here for a few days before we went to the hospital.
Of course I think they set me up when they planned her flight for opening night of the hockey season, and at the time the Avalanche would be playing no less, with us getting home in time for the Canucks game.
Bri had one more doctor's appointment scheduled for that same day.
At work, and on my way to lunch I turned on my cell phone with a text message waiting for me from Bri asking to call her immediately. As it had turned out she had protein in her urine which required her to go over to the hospital for further tests, and also opened up the possibility that induction might happen that day.
It ends up being one of those calls where your mind is racing, and decisions aren't really made. What we did decide is that the moment she received word she would call me on my cell phone. Normally I'm not suppose to have my cell phone on at work, but under the circumstances I was allowed to have it on, on vibrate, and if need be slip into a private place to answer it.
This put me into an awkward situation where my mind wasn't on work, and I was basically twisting in the wind waiting for an update. Add to the fact I carry a two-way radio during the day that also vibrates, and it led to an interesting afternoon. Though I thought the day would drag, the next two plus hours blew by.
No sooner had I gone on break that Bri sent me another "call me now" message. Dr. Diggs decided that she was only days away from her scheduled induction, and since she was already there they might as well move it up. He also took Pam's flight into consideration and wasn't going to start the process until about 8:00pm.
Now while I could have stayed at work the rest of the day, and not missed anything I still had unfinished business to take care of. Bri's unfinished business that is. Her plan after her appointment was to come home and finish cleaning the house, and get her mom's room ready. So now that fell on me, along with getting her's and my bag ready. So yes I took full advantage, and left early.
I also knew that she really had no chance to stock up on magazines for her stay. So I had to also suck up the strange look I got when I went through the Wal-Mart check out with Cosmo, and US magazines.
From the time I got to the hospital I had that uneasy, eager feeling. There was nothing I could do but be patient and wait now. Eventually my parents had made their way to the hospital, and my dad and I would then head off to the airport to surprise Bri's mom. For all Pam knew she would see two faces when she arrived, Bri's and mine. Well obviously she would know something was up when my dad's face would substitute for Bri.
Only when we got to the airport, where I thought I had parked close, we found out her flight was more than a half hour late and as it turned out I parked farther away than where I thought her gate was.
I think Pam was thrown off a little by my dad's presence, but figured out quickly what was going on. Before I go on any farther, let me explain that the fact I missed the Avalanche game is not the biggest tragedy that Bri's labor caused. No it was the fact that Pam brought the normal cab fare - Tim Horton's doughnuts, and they wound up not getting eaten because of the situation. Yes we wasted Tim Horton's doughnuts, give me a moment here.
OK
Through all of this Bri was beginning to progress rapidly, and it seemed like only a matter of time. After a quick trip home to get some warmer clothes due to the hospital's idea that 50 degrees is not cold enough, I returned to find Bri really starting to go through the pains. The pains were beginning to really cinch in, which meant it was time for the epidural.
Now the epidural is something that has been performed many times with success. Yet you know one wrong move while it is being inserted can really change one's life for the worst. So there's still that worry. The one thing they tell you as it is being put it is to not move, and stay still. So as Bri is having her's put in she happens to be going through a contraction, which I thought was the needle going in, only to quickly find out it wasn't. As it was being applied Bri flinched because it had sent a strong sensation down her leg. This in turn earned her a reprimand from the anesthesiologist. Once she got it in, her contractions were much easier to take obviously.
Eventually I dosed off on the couch since she wasn't 100% dilated. About five in the morning I got a nice little shove from our nurse, Tonya Thompson, telling me Bri was ready. Figures I don't have to go to work, yet I'm still woken up at five.
I will never forget that feeling waking up, trying to get my bearings straight, and realize I'm minutes away from being a father. Except minutes turned in 60 minutes which I wasn't concerned about. But then that one hour began to multiply in the three, then four hours as Bri continued to push.
Throughout that marathon session that Bri fought through I felt the ups and downs of anticipation. Every time Dr. Diggs walked into the room I thought 'this was it, it's happening now'. Only to see him walk back out because it really wasn't time.
The problem was a prominent pubic bone that Brendan could not get past. What made it worse is because of the mass amount of time between the epidural being administered it was beginning to quickly wear off, which led to a small power struggle that saw Dr. Diggs outright tell the anesthesiologist to change her dosage cartridge.
The epidural also produced a fun power struggle between Bri and Tonya, with Bri trying to drag me into. The epidural is much like a morphine drip. It's set up to give a certain dose in certain intervals. However if you feel the need you can press a button to get a little extra juice. While Tonya was trying to limit this so that Bri was not completely pain free (for those that have never been through this, if you can't feel anything period, you pretty much lose the feeling of pushing, so you have to feel some pain). It got to the point where Bri was trying to get me to do her dirty work. Which I wasn't getting involved in.
What was not a struggle was the decision to go to a vacuum, which looks like a large pair of scissors with a suction cup attached at the end of it. When that decision was made the room came alive. Dr. Diggs took a couple of tries with the vacuum and was having little success. The next option was the forceps which we wanted to avoid even though Dr. Diggs has a great reputation for using them well. By this time there was a shift change. Because it was Bri several of the nurses from the night shift stayed, including Tonya. The nurse taking her place, Monica, may have helped avoid the forceps.
After she had unwrapped them the exchange between her and Dr. Diggs looked like it could be seen on a football follies video. They completely fumbled them to the floor which meant they needed to get another set. While that set was being retrieved, Dr. Diggs gave the vacuum one more try and it was a try that would bring Brendan into the world.
Within all of this my mind is again racing, I couldn't really tell you by name EVERYONE that was in that room. But I remember Staci Byrd coming in, stating she wouldn't look. One of the images burned into my brain of that day was seeing Staci out of the corner of my eye peaking in.
There is also the famous quote from Pam as Brendan's head became visible, "Where did the brown hair come from."
I remember thinking that I probably wouldn't cry, but just have this perm-a-smile throughout. But as I looked at Bri, and looked at our just born son, I couldn't help but cry.
I also thought I would have both cameras going the entire time. But I barely got either out.
Both Bri and I were finally able to get to sleep a little after noon. Both of us were tired, and aside from my hour and a half nap I had been up since 5:00am the day before, and Bri wasn't too far behind along with the fact she never tried to take a nap after she went into active labor, and before she began pushing.
The hospital experience wasn't what I was hoping considering I was looking forward to Starbucks every morning. Come to think of it I don't think I've EVER seen Starbucks at the hospital open.
But the experience I did enjoy was the one that involved the birth of my son.
